About

My name is Relaeh E. Eniripsa and this is my pet dragon, Pinky. He is evil-in-training and diets on the tormented souls of pets he has killed. The E in my name stands for Evil. I hate you and if I was ever in a position to say as much to your face I would gladly do so.

I hate you.

Birth

I was born in Tainela but conceived in Agony V'Helley when a group of 7 newbies went to confront the Original Evil Eni, Skeunk. The expedition was everything you'd expect from a group dressed in pieces of kwak, crow, jelly, and gobball. How they managed to reach the hide-out is well beyond me. But they did. And they were pitifully defeated before even getting through the door. Skeunk, in a moment of boredom, invited them to stay the night. Some things happened between him and some, or all, members of the party and out I came 9 months later. Put up for adoption immediately.

Youth

That's the kind of world we live in. The only things people are interested in are dofuses and improving their equipment. Something like a child is only considered unnecessary pods. Which is probably why Tainela is nicknamed The Playpen. Every day there's a new child abandoned by the zaap. It's been said that children learn to speak Gobball before Human. What a disgustingly delightful shock when they realize that to advance, they must kill the ones that raised them. The perfect metaphor for this world. As for me, at the age of 2 I pushed and killed my first gobball, and a year later I had the whole Royal Gobball attire while kids twice my age only had the regular amulet (not that I wore it; it chafed my skin.)

Fairly early in my life I discovered that I was going to need money and might to survive. I spent my days deforesting the woods and my nights depleting the mines while extinguishing life around the clock. There wasn't a single creature that could look me in the eyes and not bleed to death, unless they had nothing on the inside to bleed out. For those there was combustion, which, I must admit, saved me the energy needed to start a fire.

Eventually I ran in with a pink-haired sadida who introduced me to his group. They were an interesting lot and I must thank them for helping me get most of my experience in the real world. We fought bworks, we fought wabbits, we fought crows, we fought monkeys. Early on I realized that the sadida was the power house and if I stuck with him I'd get places. I think others thought this as well. Shame that I had to murder him and steal his wife.

Questing

It was around this time that I started questioning my past. Specifically my birth parents. This was not unheard of. Everyone at one point in their life asks themselves the same question and they all seem to come to the same conclusion: That nothing better compliments the heat of battle than the heat of after-battle. But I was not convinced. Abraknidos shouldn't just explode by hearing my name, blops shouldn't turn themselves inside out to avoid confrontation, and cracklers shouldn't turn back to humans and thank me for freeing them from Medusas stare. So I went to the smartest guy I never met to reclaim a debt*.

Otomai was a nice guy. He very professionally supplied me with everything I wanted to know without asking for anything in return. He also threw in two free blood tests. Originally it was suppose to be one, but my blood escaped from the vial and ate through the floorboards and equipment leaving us with no choice but to try again. The soul stone worked well enough. The results that came in were very suggestive that I was an Eniripsa and Evil. I wondered if it was my wings and Brakmarian membership card that give me away? After pressing him harder for details I managed to squeeze out a location. It was my first solid lead. I went to the zaap, stole candy from a newbie, paid the toll, and stepped through.

The Koalak Mountains were an interesting place and my blood was itching. It's never itched before. I knew I was close. I spent half of my time exploring and inquiring, while the second half was spent avoiding homicide detectives questioning the first half. No matter where I went, one name kept popping up. Koolish.

Let's skip ahead to after I crossed the Wild Canyon on the back of a stolen DragonTurkey, reached Koolish, slowly cut his braids one by one until he gave me all four pieces of his personal equipment, exchanged it for a key and a guarenete that it opens the tower deep in the mountains, and found the location of a gingerbread house should i ever want to eat or sleep, or both. At the same time.

I found myself walking through Agony V'Helley. The fog was heavy and no matter how hard I looked at the creatures they just wouldn't die. Add to that that my blood was boiling and not a single monster would aggress me. Even when I casually strolled into a group and stole one of their scythes to cut the tails from Bloody Koalaks. So I had respect here, just a different kind. The kind where they didn't leave themselves all over your new coat.

The humid wind whipped at my face as I reached the tower. My skin was red from scratching myself with razors. I must have looked pretty pathetic with blood all over my hands, like a sacrier, when the door opened and I was invited in. Apparently I had an appointment. Now I was married but that was only to spite my dead teacher, so when the sadida that was escorting me licked my blood and told me I tasted like him, I was slightly aroused.

And because I don't care about you, I'm going to skip over the best part and pick up long after I left Agony V'Helley, and Koalak Mountain all together.

The Book

While wandering around Sidimote, looking for the ruined village my father told me to look for, I ran into some old friends. I only realized this fact many miles later when I took off my cape and shreds of their uniquely colored clothing, with blood and flesh still melted to it, fell out. The rest of the trip was uneventful, even though I'd say the former scene wasn't very interesting, especially for somebody like me that likes to savor dispair. I found the dark tower, lit a match, descended down the stairs, and located a lone bookcase in the middle of a room. I pulled out the book on Sneunk and tossed the match. The flames of ancient literature accompanied me all night. And this was what I learned....

Father

You see, Skeunk was isolated from civilization not because he was difficult to get along with, on the contrary, increased action points at parties were generally encouraged, but because he didn't know when the party had stopped. It was because of this very boost in energy, outside of a fight, that had him jumping off the walls and running through the Astrub streets stark naked. Quite frequently. Almost daily, really. Okay, hourly. Fine, you win, catching Skeunk with clothes on was like trying to escape your shadow (I say "was" because srams have since then mastered the art of invisibility, unlike their ancestors who could only kill those unfortunate enough not to notice a moving black puddle approaching in broad daylight.) At one point there were even plans for a Skeunk clothing lining, until the idea was scrapped for the obvious reasons.

Whether he checked into rehab or not is unclear. What is clear is that at some point he was confronted with the choice to stop stimulating himself every waking hour of the day and put some clothes on or immediate banishment. As to not sound so menacing, they offered to help him along by publicly calling all Enutrofs to dispel him should he appear drugged up. This worked about as well as catching a Cracklers fist with your teeth... which coincidentally was how the enutrofs would have ended up looking like if they had any teeth to begin with. Obviously a more gentle approach was required. Sadidas were called upon to keep an eye on him. And this was where the trouble began.

First you must understand that sadidas need linear sight with a contact to successfully dispel and sooth. It also helps to know that Sadidas were probably the original race, the ones who decided to stay behind, eons ago, when the rest of the tribe set forth to explore the world. Many modern thinkers have asked themselves why sadidas sleep so much, a shame none of them were around Astrub when Skeunk stimulated them. Funny what a simple boost in energy can do to the dormant primate in a modern primate. Most of the city was salvaged from the flames except for Skeunks party spot, the Northern Church of Something Someone. Shortly afterwards he was banished, but not before enticing four sadidas to tag along with him. Eventually they went on many adventures and saw the whole world, famously remarking "needs more snow," before settling down in the most remote and forsaken area.

Now

Hopefully you were able to bare through some back story of my father, as he was a huge influence on the man I would become. That is, I looked at everything he was and did the opposite. Through his adventures he gained the nickname "Evil" but I honestly don't think he deserved it. He was a little amoral, a little loud, a little selfish, and a whole lot of party animal, but to me that meant he knew how to have a good time. Never the less, times have changed. What use to be evil would just barely pass for acceptable behavior today. As my fathers first seed, it falls upon me to carry on his legacy. I gladly took the symbol for first-aid and health and peace, the Eniripsa, and turned it on its head. Let there be only death and destruction where ever I touch. If evil's showing its beautiful face, I promise to have a hand in it.